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Originally delivered November 30,2018 It. Started. Out. Really. Slow. Or so it seemed, and we all hid behind our denial. Straight people could say, “Well, that’s just a gay thing.” Or the gay man in New Orleans could shrug, “That’s just a New York problem, right?” Or the young black man in New York who … Continue reading
Originally delivered October 9, 2017 I was first exposed to the irresistible charm of Frank Boros at the very end of 1982. I was coming off my first real relationship, where I hadn’t exactly been the model of fidelity, but was determined to play the field for a while. So I was drinking a beer … Continue reading
Visiting a long-time friend over the weekend, I scooped up a couple bunches of flowers at the farmer’s market we were checking out. She had stopped to admire the deep purple-blue of the lisianthus, and the peach of the gerbera daisies; I added the bright red globes of the gomphrena. Back at her house, I … Continue reading
I meant to apologize to my readers about the recent gap in posts: I’ve been traveling again, and interviewing men in many disparate parts of the country. The process continues to be a pleasure, the stories are rich, and I am so proud to be part of a remarkable generation of gay men. The break … Continue reading
Yesterday’s horrific mass murder in a theatre in Aurora, Colorado, prompted much comment in social media, which I noted, as Denver has been a much-loved, long-time base for me. Much of the discussion was about gun control, of course (I’m still not getting the part about “the right to bear semi-automatics”), but I also found … Continue reading
An entirely new generation was added to my family tree a few days ago. This has sparked both emotions and thought about where a gay man fits into family and community, especially now, after decades of social change. Let me first say that I am unusually lucky, in that I come from a large, loud, … Continue reading
I did not know Bob Bergeron. I first heard about the gay, New York-based psychotherapist late last year; he was about to publish a book called “The Right Side of Forty: The Complete Guide to Happiness for Gay Men at Midlife and Beyond.” I had just left New York for more road trip to interview … Continue reading
Recently, I got an email from a long-time buddy in New York, with happy news: “Jim and I are getting married! Just a small wedding in June.” Aw, how sweet: here were two guys I respect enormously—smart, thoughtful, actively engaged in the world—making official the commitment that’s been obvious to everyone for over twenty years. … Continue reading
Why would a brief scenario on a dimly lit stage have such powerful impact? Hey: I’m a gay man with experience; I keep my emotions pretty tightly guarded. But something clearly occurred that was, well, sacred. We could call it a ritual. The term is not an easy one for me. I am, like many … Continue reading
If there was an emotional trigger to this effort of talking with gay men about life and change, it was fired back in 2004 in Montreal, at the quadrennial festival of the international Gay and Lesbian Association of Choruses, known in shorthand as GALA. I’d like to talk another time about the power and impact … Continue reading
A Gay Man's Progress 